Penis News

Former Brewster officer pleads guilty to charges



In a plea deal, former Brewster police officer Joseph Houston pleaded guilty yesterday in Boston Municipal Court to several charges associated with his actions at a Metallica concert in January.

Houston was in court for two separate cases stemming from the Jan. 18 incident. He was scheduled for trial for trespassing because he re-entered TD Banknorth Garden after being thrown out of the concert by security personnel and MBTA Transit Police. He was also to be arraigned on assault and battery and a felony charge of open and gross lewdness.

According to a Brewster Police Department investigation, witnesses said Houston consumed a half-dozen beers at a bar before the concert. He then physically and verbally harassed a family that had traveled to Boston from out of state and were seated in the row in front of Houston and his brothers.


Houston pulled down his pants, exposed his penis and urinated on a man's shirt, seat and the floor beside him, according to what the family told police. With his penis still exposed, Houston lunged at the man's sister, according to the Brewster police investigation.

Yesterday, Houston agreed to admit to sufficient facts and a finding of guilty on the trespassing charge and the assault and battery charge, but he avoided the felony charge of open and gross lewdness and pleaded to a lesser charge of assault and indecent exposure.

Houston's attorney, Thomas Drechsler, said his client has "put the matter behind him."

The trespassing charge was continued without a finding for three months. The other charges were continued without a finding for 18 months. During that time, Houston must undergo alcohol evaluation and treatment and have no contact with the family he victimized. He also must repay the family the $2,631 they spent to attend the concert.

As part of the plea deal, Houston must forgo any further appeals or arbitration over his termination from the Brewster Police Department. The Brewster Board of Selectmen fired Houston last month.

"If he abides by those conditions for the duration of the continuance, the cases will be dismissed. If he doesn't, then they go to trial," said Jake Wark, spokesman for Suffolk District Attorney Daniel Conley.



Rob Lowe Wins Another Round Against Ex-Nanny Over Confidentiality Agreement



Rob Lowe's nanny problem is almost resolved as a judge ruled in his favor over an ex-nanny's confidentiality agreement.

Last year, Lowe and his wife Sheryl sued nanny Laura Boyce for breaking a confidentiality agreement and revealing personal details about the couple.

Boyce then filed a countersuit accusing Sheryl of sexual harassment and seeking compensation for her wrongful dismissal and backpay.

According to her, Sheryl was sexually offensive and had asked her about the size of her boyfriend's penis. The wife also regularly paraded around the house naked. The allegations were vehemently denied by the Lowes.

She claimed that the contract violated her freedom on speech; thus, it was invalid to begin with. However, on Tuesday, the judge rejected her argument and sided with the "Brothers and Sisters" actor, saying the contract was legally binding, TMZ reports.

Boyce is just one of two ex-employees the couple have sued. The Lowes claim another nanny and a chef were trying to extort money from them.


Spray May Help Men Last Longer in Bed



A spray developed by Irish researchers may help men delay ejaculation and extend the length of sexual encounters, according to a study published in the British Journal of Urology.

Men who used the spray, developed by researchers at the Royal Victoria Hospital in Belfast, five minutes before having intercourse extended their love-making from half a minute to almost four minutes, the study found.

The spray contains local anesthetics that numb the penis and could be available for use within the next couple of years, the BBC reports.

Researchers tested the spray, called PSD502, or a placebo on 300 men.

Those given the actual spray lasted 6.3 times longer on average. Men who tested the placebo spray lasted just 1.7 times longer.

Guys like to hang out

In a mental institution a nurse walks into a room and sees a patient acting like he's driving a car. The nurse asks him, "Charlie, what are you doing?" Charlie replies, "Driving to Chicago!" The nurse wishes him a good trip and leaves the room.

The next day the nurse enters Charlie's room just as he stops driving his imaginary car and asks, "Well, Charlie, how are you doing?" Charlie says, "I just got into Chicago." "Great," replies the nurse.

The nurse leaves Charlie's room and goes across the hall into Bob's room, and finds Bob sitting on his bed furiously masturbating. Shocked, she asks, "Bob, what are you doing?" Bob says, "I'm screwing Charlie's wife while he's in Chicago!"



A man comes home from work, thinking no one else is home yet. As he puts down his briefcase and hat, he hears a faint moaning coming from his oldest daughter's bedroom. Not quite sure what's going on, he tiptoes down the hallway and gently pushes open the door, only to find his daughter on her back on her bed, eyes closed, using a dildo and on the verge of orgasm. Shocked, he blurts out, "What the hell do you think you're doing?" Visibly shaken, she quickly grabs a sheet to cover herself and yells at him to get out and close the door while she puts on some clothes.

Her father sits in the living room, appalled that his beautiful daughter would pleasure herself in this manner. The daughter comes out and admonishes her dad for not knocking before entering, and then says, "Look — I'm 25 years old, I don't have a boyfriend, I've never had a boyfriend, and I probably never will have a boyfriend. But I have needs, and I have to take care of them, you know?" Her father says, "Listen — you just haven't had much luck with boyfriends. I'm sure you'll get one soon." She replies, "No, Dad. It's just not in the cards. I'll never ever get married. That's all. I'm sorry to disappoint you."

A few weeks later, the daughter comes home early one afternoon to find her father sitting on the living room couch, with a gin and tonic in one hand, and the dildo in his other hand, watching TV. "Dad!" she yells out. "What in God's name are you doing?" The father casually looks over his shoulder at her and says, "What does it look like? I'm having a drink with my son-in-law."



A man is sitting next to a woman on a jet that's getting ready to take off. Suddenly, the man sneezes. He unzips his pants and wipes off the end of his penis with his handkerchief. He zips up and continues reading his magazine. The woman cannot believe what she just saw.

Then he sneezes again, unzips, pulls out his penis and wipes it off with a handkerchief. The woman says, "Excuse me, sir, but that is disgusting and rude — and if you do it again I am going to call the flight attendant and have you removed from this plane."

He says, "I am so sorry, but I have this very rare, embarrassing physical handicap that causes me to have an orgasm every time I sneeze."

The woman, disarmed by the man's honesty and somewhat embarrassed by her own callousness, says, "Oh you poor man. Are you taking anything for it?"

He answers, "Pepper."



Zack comes home from school one day and is met at the door by his grandmother, who asks what he learned in school today. He replied, "We learned about sex." His grandmother just stands there, almost in shock. Then later that day she tells his mother about their conversation, and the kid's mom says, "Mother, sex IS a regularly studied subject in school these days."

Later that evening, grandmother walks past Zack's room, sees him vigorously masturbating, and says to him, "After you finish your homework, come down for dinner."



Police arrested Malcolm Davidson, a 27-year-old male, in a pumpkin patch. Davidson will be charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication at the county courthouse. From the county courthouse jail, Davidson stated that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin he felt was appropriate to his purposes, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his "need." In the process, Davidson apparently failed to notice the municipal police car approaching and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.

Said officer Taylor, "I just went up and asked, 'Excuse me, sir, but do you realize you are screwing a pumpkin?' He got real surprised, as you'd expect, and then looked me straight in the face and said, "A pumpkin? Damn...is it midnight already?"




Two women always rode their bicycles together. One day, they decided to take a different route. One of the women remarked, "I never came this way before." To which her friend replied, "Must be the cobblestones!"



Three guys go to a ski lodge, and there aren't enough rooms — so they have to share a bed. In the middle of the night, the guy on the right wakes up and says, "I had this wild, vivid dream of getting a hand job!" The guy on the left wakes up, and unbelievably, he's had the same dream, too. Then the guy in the middle wakes up and says, "That's funny — I dreamed I was skiing!"

WHAT A PRETTY PENIS

DID YOU SAY PENIS



Man Cuts Off His Penis in London Restaurant

British police were forced to restrain a man with CS gas after he cut his own penis off in a packed London restaurant on Sunday.

The man was rushed to hospital in where his penis could not be reattached by surgeons. Restaurant staff told reporters how the man “picked up a kitchen knife and slashed himself across the wrist and groin areas before running back into the restaurant."

No-one else suffered any physical injuries during the incident, although restaurant staff and clients were understandably distressed by the events.



Another week, another lesson about image manipulation in the press.

At least two major publications – The New York Post and People – digitally obscured a portion of a photo from the Virginia Tech shootings.

In the photo, emergency personnel are seen carrying injured student Kevin Sterne out of the Norris Hall classroom building, his clothes soaked with blood. Standards being what they are, the concern about the photograph was not the shocking amount of blood, but whether the student’s penis was visible.

The photo is one of several taken at the scene of the April 16 shooting by Roanoke Times photographer Alan Kim and transmitted hours later worldwide by the Associated Press. It appeared the next day in dozens of newspapers, in many cases on the front page.

Almost immediately, newspaper readers began to debate the image. A message board devoted to the Detroit Free Press sparked a debate the next morning over whether the picture actually showed genitalia. The Hartford Courant was bombarded with complaints, many of which reader representative Karen Hunter posted online.

“You are showing his penis right on the front page,” one Courant reader complained to Hunter. “I think that’s disgusting…. I think you should have blocked it out or something.”

Over at the New York Post, editors anticipated that exact response. The Post ran the picture big and in color, but cloned out the flesh-colored shape protruding from the student’s lap. Across town, the archrival Daily News ran the picture unedited.

People edited the photo, while its sister magazine Time ran the picture unedited.

By April 18, sharp-eyed bloggers had flagged some of the news outlets that altered the photo. Both Poynter and the National Press Photographers Association – whose code of ethics prohibits digital alterations to news photographs in most cases – posted stories about the photo on their Web sites.

In response, Post executive editor Col Allen told Poynter, “We decided to make a very minor alteration to the photograph of Kevin Sterne being carried out of Norris Hall to protect the wounded student’s dignity but in no way change the news impact of the picture.”



Bart Simpson does a full monty

In the unlikeliest nude scene since Kathy Bates' hot-tub hijinks in About Schmidt, Bart Simpson will reportedly go full frontal in his upcoming feature film.

According to Newsweek, which got a sneak peek at The Simpsons Movie, "little Bart flashes his little part to the entire world" while skateboarding sans clothing on a dare from dad Homer.

If his full Monty makes it to the big screen in July, the magazine notes, it may be the first time a Hollywood movie has exposed this sort of skin -- albeit in cartoon form -- without being slapped with an R-rating.



DON’T PUT YOUR PENIS WHERE IT ISN’T WELCOME:

A South African inventor has created a new female condom designed to stop rape by hooking sharp barbs of wire into a man’s penis if he tries to sexually assault a woman wearing the device. The “Rapex” is worn like a tampon and will grab hold of the offending member and attach itself to it until its owner gets to a hospital to have the metal barbs surgically removed. While some detractors of the device have criticized its “vengefulness,” inventor Sonette Ehlers has no second thoughts about her contraption. “It’s a medieval device for a medieval deed,” she says. “If any rapist finds himself hopping with pain as a result... that seems just fine to me. Yes, it’s vengeful. Yes, it hurts rapists. Oh well.”


Research in Western Australia has found that the number of boys born with genital defects has almost doubled in the last 20 years.

The Telethon Institute for Child Health Research has found that this increase could be linked to IVF drug treatment, air pollution and agricultural chemicals.

And the researchers say the rapid increase in the condition is worrying and needs further research as Lindy Kerin reports.

LINDY KERIN: Hypospadias affects one in every 230 baby boys.

Dr Natasha Nassar from the Telethon Institute for Child Health Research in Western Australia says it's considered a major birth defect.

NATASHA NASSAR: It occurs in baby boys in the urethra, which usually develops at the tip of the penis, actually develops on the underside and the location sort of determines how severe it is.

So if it's close to the tip, it's usually a mild case, but if the urethra develops closer to the perineum, than it can be a more severe case.

LINDY KERIN: Dr Nassar has been investigating the rate of hypospadias in Western Australia for the past 20 years.

She's found the number of boys born with moderate and severe cases of the genital defect, has almost doubled. She says it's similar case around the country.



A Brisbane man accused of deliberately infecting his teenage lover with HIV could not have committed the crime because he was unable to get an erection, a court has heard.

Jamie Michael Richards, 34 of Highgate Hill, has pleaded not guilty to unlawfully and intentionally transmitting a serious disease and causing grievous bodily harm to the teen, now aged 20.

Prosecutors allege Richards did not declare his HIV-positive status during a casual sexual affair with the younger man, whom he met a a train station in 2003.

At Brisbane's District Court this morning, Richards' defence counsel Adrian Gundelach suggested his client was the "passive partner" in the relationship and suffered from "gender dysphoria", which prevented him from having full penetrative sex.

However, Richards' alleged victim strongly rejected claims he had never seen Richards with an erection, testifying his former partner had both "given and received" during their numerous sexual encounters.

When quizzed by Mr Gundelach over why he had never reciprocated oral sex with Richards, the younger man said it was because Richards' penis was "ugly", not because he couldn't get it up.

"It looks ugly, it's feral ... it's ugly shaped," the alleged victim testified.

He also denied claims he had lied about his age when he first met Richards - 14 years his senior - at the Brunswick Street railway station in November 2003.

The court has previously heard the meeting sparked a "certain attraction" between the pair and they began sleeping together at a Dutton Park boarding house and a Highgate Hill unit Richards shared with his brother.

The younger man alleged Richards covered up his illness, which was diagnosed about 1995, telling him "don't worry, I'm clean" when the pair had unprotected sex.

But his suspicions were aroused after an alleged conversation with Richards' brother, who was paid a government allowance to care for the sick man. A blood test in 2005 confirmed the alleged victim had contracted the disease, which the Crown claims it can prove "with 100 per cent probability" came from Richards.

Under intense cross-examination by Mr Gundelach today, the younger man denied frequenting gay "beats" or being sexually promiscuous and insisted he had been a virgin when he first met Richards.

He said he always carried condoms in his bag but admitted it was possible he didn't know if they had been used or not.

"Obviously sometimes when you're drunk or smoking pot, you wouldn't have a clue," he said.

"It's better to be safe than sorry ... it's better than picking up a disease or something isn't it?"

The trial continues.

The Penis Show

Rate my Cock Link




Sharon Osbourne has let rip on Queens Of The Stone Age frontman Josh Homme, saying that she hopes his manhood drops off and gets eaten by, erm, his mum.

Sharon’s vicsious tirade, which we’ll bring you more of in a second, follows Homme’s remark about Ozzfest, the festival run by Mr Osbourne, aka Ozzy.

The QOTSA man said that he’d never play the festival again because “They treat bands like sh*t”.

In response, Sharon raised the bar on bad taste, and wished him the following: "I hope he gets syphilis and dies,” Sharon cheerfully told Blender magazine. “I hope his dick fu*king falls off so his mother can eat it."



Bowls club suprised by large penis

A bowls club was stunned to find a giant penis drawn in weed killer on its green.

Now members will have to wait for nature to take its course before the playing area is decent again.

A spokesman for Cheshire's Knutsford Conservative Club said: 'We had a laugh but we don't want to make a big thing of it as this kind of thing could spread.'



Millions of American men spend billions of dollars on skin care for every other part of their body except their penis.

If you are not already taking care of the skin on your penis, here are five reasons to start.

1. Friction… Friction during sex can leave the penis sore, irritated, chafed, or raw.

2. Heat… The penis is subjected to intense heat due to tight pants, and during intercourse. This intense heat can have a drying effect on the skin.

3. Chemicals… The latex in condoms and the spermicidal chemicals used can have a reactive, irritating effect on the skin of the penis.

4. Enlargement and retraction… The penis is designed to get erect and to retract to the flaccid state. This constant stretching of the skin can be taxing, and a good moisturizer,can help the skin heal, recover, and thrive much better.

5. Age… As a man becomes older, his skin becomes dryer. The skin on the penis is not immune to this, and age can impair the sensitivity, elasticity, and texture of the penis.

Most men probably never think about taking special care of the skin on their penis, but they should. Actually, the skin on the penis is probably the skin that needs our attention most.

Simply by rubbing your favorite moisturizer into the shaft of the penis twice a day and always after sex, a man can help the skin heal, recover, and restore itself despite the gauntlet of torture it is subjected to every single day.



According to scientific research, which of these herbs, when sniffed while eating pumpkin pie, increases blood flow to the penis by up to 20 per cent?

A,Catnip, B,lavender, C,rosemary



C,Lavender (careful now!)

Did you say Penis

Different Strokes

Is there a difference in pleasing a guy who is circumsized versus a guy who isn't?"

Though you would think otherwise, the truth is that there is no real difference in pleasing a man who is circumcised versus uncircumcised. What is different, is the sensations the man feels.

Men who are not cut claim that the sensitivity they feel in the head of the penis is absolutely astounding. Because the foreskin covers the head of the penis, which is the part of the penis that contains the most nerves, it helps those nerves stay extra sensitive. If you have ever broken a nail too far, and found that the skin underneath the nail is extra sensitive to your touch, you can get the basics of why uncut men supposedly have increased pleasure. Uncut men will sometimes insist that circumcision is barbaric, as you are cutting off a part of the penis that can be key in pleasure. The argument is that you are exposing the head of the penis to all manner of elements, decreasing the natural sensitivity.

But cut men will often disagree: they still experience orgasms, and can feel immense pleasure in the head of the penis. Of course, the only man who can truly speak with authority on this matter are those that are circumcised in adulthood.

When pleasing a man with a foreskin, you might find yourself intimidated if you are unaccustomed to it. America is the only country in which circumcision is really the norm, (it is now offered in hospitals right after birth). There is no reason to be intimidated, however; if you gently pull back on the foreskin it will reveal the head of the penis just like you would see on man who is circumcised. Do not worry about hurting the man while you stimulate him, the odds of you pulling on his foreskin too hard are minimal as long as he is open with you as you touch him. Just keep in mind that because the head of his penis has increased sensitivity, you want to be especially careful when it comes to teeth and nails, though I have no doubt cut men would want you to be just as cautious with their nether regions.




Pete Doherty is planning to get his penis pierced.

The Babyshambles rocker, who is dating Kate Moss, has booked an appointment at North London's Camden Cold Steel parlour and plans to surprise his supermodel lover with the intimate piercing.
A source told Britain's Daily Star newspaper: "Pete has booked the piercing appointment for later this week. He has been thinking about it for a while. And now is the perfect time, because Kate is away working on her fashion line, so he can surprise her with it when she returns.
"He is so excited and has managed to keep it a secret from Kate so far. He's gone for the most painful 14mm hole because he wants to wear large pieces of jewellery." Kate is currently in Devon brainstorming ideas for her new collection with high street retailers Topshop. This isn't the first time Pete has surprised Kate with body art - he already has a tattoo of a K inside a heart on his arm.



Your Penis Looks Funny

Pete Wentz has developed quite a gay following. And for good reason. Fall Out Boy's bassist recently admitted to getting down with the fellas, but only a bit of a snog. No dick action, unfortunately. Make no mistake, he'll readily admit another man's attractive. His distaste for the dick comes not from socially constructed homophobia, but from his distaste for...well, dick.



Gonorrhea 'superbug' requires new treatment

THE PROBLEM: Gonorrhea, a sexually transmitted disease, is now among the "superbugs" resistant to common antibiotics, leading U.S. health officials to recommend wider use of a different class of drugs to avert a public health crisis.
THE RECOMMENDATION: The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention is urging doctors to treat U.S. gonorrhea patients with cephalosporin drugs, which include the generic ceftriaxone, also sold under the brand name Rocephin.
The previous therapy was fluoroquinolones, which included Cipro, and is no longer recommended. The change was made because a growing number of gonorrhea cases are resistant to fluoroquinolones.
THE DISEASE: The CDC estimates that more than 700,000 people in the United States contract gonorrhea each year through sexual contact.
It is the second most commonly reported infectious disease in the United States, trailing only chlamydia,Ò which the CDC says affects more than 2.1 million people yearly in the U.S. The highest rates of infection are among sexually active teenagers, young adults and blacks. Because many people don't have obvious symptoms, they can unknowingly spread gonorrhea to others.
The resistant form accounts for more than one in every four gonorrhea cases among heterosexual men in Philadelphia and nearly that many in San Francisco, the CDC reports.
SYMPTOMS: Most men and women with gonorrhea may have no symptoms. Some men may have painful or swollen testicles, a burning sensation while urinating, or a white, yellow or green discharge from the penis. Female symptoms of gonorrhea can be mild and sometimes are mistaken for a bladder or vaginal infection. Initial symptoms for women include a painful or burning sensation while urinating, increased vaginal discharge or vaginal bleeding between menstrual periods.
HEALTH RISKS: Though it's treatable, gonorrhea puts people at greater risk of catching the AIDS virus and at risk of infertility if untreated. In women, gonorrhea can cause pelvic inflammatory disease. In men, it can cause epididymitis, a painful condition of the testicles that can lead to infertility.
PREVENTION: Gonorrhea can be prevented by abstaining from sex or by proper and consistent use of condoms.

Source: The Associated Press



Flea

One winter year, these two little fleas headed for the warm sunny beaches of California to escape the cold. The first flea got there and started rubbing suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flee legs. Just then, the second flea arrived just a shiverin' and a shakin'. The first flea asked, "What the hell happened to you?"

To which the second flea replied "I just rode out here on a bikers mustache and I'm so very coldddd!"

The first flea said, "Don't you know the special trick to gettin here, first you go to the airport, go straight to the mens cammode, wait for a young pilot to come along, and when he sits down you climb right up between his butt cheeks where its nice and warm".

The second flea agreed that this was a grand idea. The next winter comes along and it was time for the fleas to head for the sunny beaches again. The first flea arrived and began putting suntan lotion on his little flea arms and his little flea legs. About that time, the second flea arrived again just a shiverin', shakin', and mumbling about how cold he was.

The first flea exclaimed "Didn't you learn anything that I taught you about getting here nice and warm?"

To which the second flea replied, "I did just as you said; I went to the mens cammode and this pilot came in and sat down, I climbed right up between his butt cheeks and it was so very warm. Next thing I know we stop at a bar and I fell asleep. All of a sudden I woke and there I was, right back on that bikers mustache!

Sunshine Boy....Chad Hunt Penis Festival

Chad Hunt (born in Wadsworth, Ohio, United States, 1973) is a gay porn star who performs in pornographic movies.



He is 5'10" tall, weighs 160 pounds, and is best known for his exceptionally huge penis, which reportedly measures 11 inches long and 7 inches in circumference. He is widely reported as and promoted as having the largest and thickest natural penis of any current male porn star, gay or straight, and is speculated by some to be either equally as large or even larger than the notorious porn star John Holmes



Hunt's penis was used as the model for a Falcon Studios Supercock Replica dildo that bears his name.




Jason Seachrest recently had porn stud Chad Hunt on his radio program The Young & the Curious. Chad shared a story concerning his 12-year-old son. Chad told sonny his work has to do with being naked and being gay and he left it at that. One day the boy was playing in dad’s closet and found the Chad Hunt Supercock, his life-size dildo. Chad answered more questions, and was particularly amused when his son said, “How come I’m 12 and my cousin is 15 and my wiener is bigger than his?” How come these cousins are comparing wieners?