Wednesday Woody

Reece Rideout



There once was a man whose religion said that he had to be naked all the time. Not wanting to go against his religion, he went everywhere naked — even to the supermarket. One day he went shopping for Lifesavers and gum. As he was heading toward the counter to pay for his candy, he saw three nuns come into the store. He thought, "I don't want these nuns to see me and preach to me about how I should wear clothes." Not having anywhere to hide, he stood very still and pretended to be a mannequin. The three nuns walked up to him and were very curious. The first one went up and yanked on the man's penis, and the man dropped the Lifesavers. The nun picked them up and showed them to the others saying, "Look, I got Lifesavers." The second nun went up to the man and pulled on his penis, and the man dropped his gum. The nun picked it up and said, "Look, I got gum." Not wanting to go home empty-handed, the last nun went up to the man, yanked on his penis, and said, "Look, I got hand lotion."



Flies spread disease - keep yours zipped. ~Author Unknown



FILL YOUR FORESKIN

Sit in a tub full of warm water, and fill an ear syringe or some other bulbous apparatus (such as a turkey baster) with warm bath water. With your foreskin over your glans, lightly pinch it over the opening to the syringe tube, and squeeze the bulb to fill the foreskin; then release in order to suck the water back into the syringe. Repeat doing this until orgasm. You can vary the timing of the squeezing from slow to fast, as if you were humping. The sensation is much like vibration, and the warm water is the kicker — plus, it is a no-mess cleanup, because the semen gets sucked into the syringe with the water. It's a very intense feeling. Another tip: Keep the flow rhythm going throughout the ejaculation, as it intensifies the already skyrocketing orgasm. The orgasmic sensations from this technique can be very intense; in fact, be careful, as they can even be slightly painful.


PRIME RIBS
Get one of those "ribbed" condoms, and turn it inside out so when you put it on, the ribs will rub against your penis. Lube the condom's inside (previously the outside) with K-Y Jelly or another water-based lube, and simply masturbate by moving the condom. If it's been a while, go easy — this will make you reach orgasm quickly, because the ribs stimulate every inch of your penis. Using a condom this way with a vagina simulator will make it feel even more real.

Chris Cambridge