Bollocks

Bollocks!!! Great for those times when you need to dramtically state an opposing opinion, need to refrain from swearing and feel the need to use the slang for ‘testicles’ just for good measure. Brilliant!



FACT:

1. The testicles are oval organs! Beat that! (metaphorically, I mean)
2. Your testes are about 4 to 4.5 cm long and 2 to 2.5 cm round. And that is like one of those gum balls that cost a quarter in a Wal-Mart entrance... Not quite as big as the fifty cent gum balls, or one of those plastic eggs with a friendship bracelet in it.
3. It is normal for one testicle to hang lower than the other in the scrotum. It considered more attractive to have the right one lower than the left. (The opposite applies to European tastes.)
4. Your testicles produce and store sperm. That's like a factory also being a closet.
5. Your testicles are the body's main source of male hormones. These hormones control the development of the reproductive organs and other male characteristics, such as body and facial hair, low voice, wide shoulders, and size of lap.
6. A man with one testicle can still have a normal erection and produce sperm for all who require it. He also will have the good fortune of garnering a nickname like "Lefty" or "Mr. Right".
7. Each testis contains tightly coiled tubes (smart-scientist-men call them: seminiferous tubules) within which the germ cells (reproductive cells) divide and mature to form sperm. This all happens by unknown, magical means and will baffle smart-scientist-men for many years to come.
8. Your puberty is actually a celebration of your testicles producing sperm. Secondary sex characteristics are your body's way of decorating for that party.
9. The delicacy known as Rocky Mountain Oysters are in actuality USDA approved bull testicles. People eat these. I'm serious, they put them in their mouth and eat them.
10. Testicles remind us of our fragile humanity. Bungee jumping and sky-diving also remind us of this. But testicles are free.





One day a man was visiting a small Mexican city. He walked into a restaurant and was surrounded by a wonderful smell. He could hardly wait to try the local cuisine.
He asked “What smells so good?”
The waiter said “Once a week we have a bull fight around here. What you smell is Rocky Mountain Oysters from the bull. I am sorry sir, but you will have to wait until next week to get some because only one person can be served as there is but one bull in the fight.”
The next week the man goes in and orders the Rocky Mountain Oysters. He's in luck because he's there first. They were frying and he smelled the wonderful smell and could hardly wait.
When they were brought out however, he was disappointed in the size of them. The ones he saw served the last week had been bigger. He ate them and before leaving he commented that they had been small.

“Well I am sorry Senor, but sometimes the bull he wins!”



Naked chef doesn't have balls

CELEBRITY chef and school dinners campaigner Jamie Oliver says the only food he won't cook is... genitals.

The star admits he cannot stomach nations that dine on animals' testicles and penises.

Jamie said: "One thing I won't cook is genitals - the balls and the general genital area.

"Some countries tend to cook that and I'm not into that. I don't mind offal, but not genitals."

The cheeky chap, who toured Italy in a campervan trying local foods in his popular series Jamie's Great Escape, also revealed he decided to scrap plans for a televised tour of Cuba because the cuisine is "rubbish".

In an interview with Radio One, he added: "I wanted to do Cuba but the food is so bad over there. It's just rubbish."

Jamie became a national hero last year when he launched his campaign to make school dinners healthier to fight the growing child obesity problem in the UK.