Sheboygan-Press.com

Gay marriage: Downfall of the Western world

Statistics show that allowing gay marriage will encourage more people to become gay, just like spending time with someone short makes you shorter.

Homosexuality must not be allowed to spread. Once people hear more about being gay they will stampede to join the club, hoping to be persecuted and alienated from their families, friends and face discrimination on a daily basis, along with all the other benefits of being gay.

Truth be told though, being gay is not natural, despite what modern science would have us believe.

All true Americans reject things that are unnatural, which is why you will never see an American wearing glasses or polyester or even using air conditioning.

Legalizing gay marriage will create an opening for other abnormal behaviors, as well. People may wish to marry their cats, and we would have to allow them since animals can sign the marriage contract to give consent, and considering an animal's legal standing, this would be perfectly acceptable.

The fact is, marriages can only be considered valid if children are produced.

For this reason we have laws forbidding infertile couples, the elderly, as well as gays from getting hitched. Even testicular and ovarian cancer survivors are out of luck once radiation and chemical cocktails decimate their reproductive cells. No matter the circumstances, if a couple cannot procreate, their marriage cannot be considered legal.

Tragically, if a child was procured through adoption, gay parents would obviously only raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight offspring.

Children need both a female and male role model at home, which is why we explicitly prohibit single parents from raising children, in fear of how demented the children would turn out. One only needs to look at Nelson Mandela and his work in South Africa, to see how tragic the consequences of being the child of a single parent are.

Gay marriage is merely an idiotic idea that would ruin everyone's life, so the sheer thought of allowing it should strike us all with fear, more so than the thousands of deaths in the War on Terror.

Only when society remains stagnant and stupid will it continue to be of good quality. Asking questions always leads to trouble, science should have found that out a long time ago, just listen to your government assigned church leader like a mindless sheep and everything will be fine.

GREGORY HARTMAN