MILITARY MONDAY

OTTAWA -- Despite the military's progressive gay-friendly policies, gay and lesbian soldiers often live a life of secrecy and isolation in the Canadian Forces.

According to a letter from one gay soldier, obtained by Sun Media through an access to information request with the individual's name protected, homosexual troops often face "negative" reactions to their sexual orientation within the ranks.

'REMAIN IN SILENCE'

"I am part of a same-sex common-law couple within the Canadian Forces, and after declaring common-law status I found that my situation is very common across the Canadian Forces, although many couples prefer to remain in silence about their relationship and lifestyle," the author writes.

The soldier said the Family Resource Centre provides "exceptional service" to the military community as a whole, but doesn't specifically help non-traditional families.

"From personal experience, I know there are young soldiers who feel they don't belong, and there are no resources within the military community or the Family Resource Centre to reach out to them," the author writes.

Calling it an "ever-present and growing issue," the soldier pleaded for the defence department to establish a service that would help gay and lesbian colleagues connect with one another to lift the sense of alienation.

Gilles Marchildon, executive director of Egale Canada, said the large size of the military makes it inevitable that there would be "uneveness" in how policies are applied.

"There certainly has been huge change since 1992 when the ban against homosexuals serving in the army was lifted. It's not that long," he said. "I have no doubt that some departments and some leaders within the military are quite open-minded, accommodating and others are less so. That could probably be said for a lot of corporations too."

The defence department has a zero-tolerance policy for harassment based on sexual orientation, has funded gender reassignment surgery and drafted a policy to marry same-sex couples on army bases even before it became the law.

But Marchildon said despite these policies, his military nephew, who is straight, said it remains a "bastion of heterosexism."

COME OUT AND BE OUT

"He said, 'I think it would be really difficult for someone in the ranks to come out and be out -- they would probably get shunned or treated differently,'" he said.

"From the top brass, there are good policies on the books and there is an effort to accommodate and celebrate GLBT people, but it's another thing in terms of living those policies every day."

By KATHLEEN HARRIS