Fart

DON'T FART IN BED

If this story doesn't make you cry for laughing so hard, let
me know and I'll pray for you. This is a story about a couple
who had been happily married for years. The only friction in
their marriage was the husband's habit of farting
loudly every morning when he awoke. The noise would wake his husband and the smell would make his eyes water and make him gasp for air.
Every morning he would plead with him to stop ripping them
off because it was making him sick. He told him he couldn't
stop it and that it was perfectly natural. He told him to
see a doctor; he was concerned that one day he would blow his
guts out.
The years went by and he continued to rip them out! Then
one Thanksgiving morning as he was preparing the turkey for
dinner and he was upstairs sound asleep, he looked at the
bowl where he had put the turkey innards and neck, gizzard,
liver and all the spare parts and a malicious thought came to
him. He took the bowl and went upstairs where his husband
was sound asleep and, gently pulling back the bed covers, he pulled back the elastic waistband of his underpants and emptied the bowl of turkey guts into his shorts. Some time later he heard his husband waken with his usual trumpeting which was followed by a blood curdling scream and the sound of frantic footsteps as he ran into the bathroom. The husband could hardly control himself as he rolled on the floor laughing, tears in his eyes! After years of
torture he reckoned he had got him back pretty good. About
twenty minutes later, his husband came downstairs in his
blood stained underpants with a look of horror on his face. He bit
his lip as he asked him what was the matter. He said, "Honey,
you were right." "All these years you have warned me
and I didn't listen to you." "What do you mean?" asked his
husband. "Well, you always told me that one day I would end up
farting my guts out, and today it finally happened. But by
the grace of God, some Vaseline, and two fingers, I think I got
most of them back in."